I have completed my 45th trip around the sun.
I have recently shaved my hair for the second time in my life's journey.
This shedding process is very intentional and spiritual for me.
It allows me to cycle back and see myself through a wider lens - the bigger picture, a clearer vision, from deeper within.
Isn't it something, how we are so eager to remove the hair from our bodies, yet so terrified by the idea of removing it from our heads?
For so long myself, and so many others, have hid behind our hair. Carried the desire to have the longest, most beautiful mane. Carried the weight, the sadness in our locks.
Shedding all of that has forced me to be present with myself. It has forced me to have a flow like water, to be fluid. Because as your hair grows back, your look changes each day. As soon as I have have begun to lean into one look and become comfortable there, I am thrust into another.
A reminder that this life is ever changing, ever evolving, ever transforming rapidly.
So while shaving my hair has served as empowering and liberating experience, it has also been a vulnerable and scary one.
But I suppose that's what it's all about. It's like an ice plunge - you just need to jump in.
Every other woman who's shaved her head knows... She is seen by all the others who have waked before her. Into the unknown we go.
With the new moon in Virgo, I bled. I shed. I give thanks.
As I fast, I'm hella hearing the spirit, and that spiral back into myself deepens.
Ready to be reborn into my 45th year. Ready to enter into a rebirth of self. My consciousness, my awareness, my confidence... I am loving myself fully.
I affirm it: I am moving slow, with my soft belly on the ground.
Kisses to Mother Earth for always holding me down.
Prayers up to Father Sky, stop me from feeling rushed by time.
This transformation is about letting go, releasing, shedding and relinquishing to the fear of the unknown.
While there is so much I have yet to understand, there is so much I know for certain:
I am loving.
I am forgiving.
I am compassionate.
I am a mother to my plants, I am a mother to my animals.
I am mothering my children, I am mothering myself.
I am healing for generations before and after me.
I am a healing force for others.
I am a gatherer of people.
I am brave. I’d rather jump in than be paralyzed with fear.
I want to know what it feels like on the other side, so I go. And I go all the way.
I am a thrill seeker.
I am an ocean lover.
I am sensual.
I am a feel good person.
I am a lover of love.
I am a dancer. I won’t stop until the music does, and even then, I keep going.
I am strong.
I am a warrior.
I am not easy.
I have lists for lists.
I am a clean freak.
I am awkward.
I have sound sensitivities.
I connect through touch.
I am all over the place at any given moment.
I might never remember a name, but I will always remember your energy.
I pray, I cry, I spin. I question myself.
I am in tune.
I am connected.
I am listening.
I am ever so grateful for the oxygen I take into my lungs.
I am a that I am.
I am her, she is me, we are one.
I believe I am a refection of the divine, and a daughter of the most high.
I hand it over. I make moves. I believe that it all works out as it is meant to.
Maybe it's not about completing another rotation.
Maybe it's about embarking on another one.